Sunday, December 13, 2015

The Hummus Guy: Organic Original Review

I was walking through the store last week when I saw a short, curly haired Middle Eastern man staring me dead in the eyes. He was chubby, with a round face and a smug smile that screamed "douchebag" for lack of a better term. He didn't say anything, he simply continued to stare at me until I felt compelled to say something. What came out of my mouth (in the middle of the grocery store, mind you) was this,"You've gotta be f****** kidding me."

After my sudden exclamation I realized that I had just muttered an F-bomb at an inanimate object... The Hummus Guy. Having never been faced with such an audacious challenge to my knowledge and huminion, I was unsure how to react. So, naturally, I grabbed the tub (thumb directly on the man's stubby little nose) and threw it in my cart... challenge accepted.

Before I begin this review I'd like to say that I've attempted to judge this hummus objectively,—despite the pudgy, olive skinned gentleman before me. 

Tub size: 10 oz
Price: 4.00
Dippers: Simply Naked Sea Salt Pita Chips, Carrots, Crunchmaster Multi-Grain Crackers, (middle) finger

How DARE you little man. How dare you confront me like this. To call yourself "The Hummus Guy" in spite of my dedication to the hummus game is utterly blasphummus. I don't care if you grew up in Tunisia (he did), or that your name is Mohamed (pretty authentic), you've waged a war that you most surely will lose. OK... but seriously, as much as looking at this tub annoys me, I have to say, Mohamed...you've done well.
The resemblance is uncanny...

While I'm not typically a fan of regular hummus, organic hummus, or anything vegan, this is an exception. Its texture rides the perfect balance between creaminess and chunkiness, which is difficult to pull off in an organic blend. I've found many organic hummi are thin and watery—which, as a matter of fact, ends up producing a very similar consistency on the toilet. Mohamed clearly has taken his beans into consideration, so we don't end up spilling ours.

It also has just the right amount of flavoring so as not to overpower the chickpea. Each bite leaves a split second lingering of lemon on the tongue. Sort of like a lemon party in your mouth (I think there's a website for that). I wanted to continue to talk smack but my mouth was full of this Jon-Favreau-looking man's hummus. While it took me a few bites to fully understand the complexity of this blend, I have to give it up to Mohamed. The Hummus Guy Original gets 3.9 chickpeas out of 5.

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