The legend of chocolate hummus was brought to my attention from faraway lands. I'd heard tales on the cobblestone side streets of Yemen, stories from the shamans of Lebanon, and fables from fisherman across the salty waters of the Red Sea. Of course, as one would with any hummus made by a company with a giant, hairy pig for a mascot, I proceeded with caution—but even with its mystical aura, nothing could have prepared me for such a wonderful, unique treat...
Tub size: 8 oz
Price: $4.99
Dippers: Pretzels, bananas, left pinkie
Like taking off your boxers after a sweaty, uphill walk to your apartment (every. single. damn. day), or taking off your bra after a long day at work (I think?), removing the lid from any new hummus tub is incredibly satisfying. With this one in particular, I didn't know what to expect. As soon as I pulled the seal, I was reminded of my everyday school lunches: sandwich, apple, chips, and of course, like any spoiled white boy, chocolate pudding.
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| "Mount Chocolate Nipple" in all its glory |
Taste-wise, the hummus doesn't really taste like hummus at all. If you really think about it, you can taste garbanzo beans, but it's much closer to mousse or some kind of dessert filling—which also makes you feel a little guilty about eating a lot of it. Each successive bite I felt more and more like a baby who wasn't satisfied with anything mommy made. Like this was the only thing that wouldn't make me throw a tantrum. (Did I mention I was a terrible child?)
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| Thicc AF |
All that said, the flavor was all there. I wouldn't recommend anybody eat it too often, but it makes a great afternoon snack or post-dinner treat. However, a word of caution to all who try it: it's sort of a weird feeling dipping anything into a pile of thick brown slop, over and over again. But once you get over it, you'll find this tasty dip one for the ages. I give the Boar's Head Dark Chocolate Dessert Hummus a 3.9/5 chickpeas.
